Thursday, September 22, 2011
No one tells you when you get married that you can become depressed afterwards. Feelings of emptiness of whats left to do? Where do I go from here, what are my goals and what direction should I take my life now. I didn't say anything about these feelings until recently when I happened to bring it up with a stranger who was also recently married, guess what she feels the same way. So I thought I would ask another person, and same thing. I believe it is caused by the relief of stress. For so long my life has been crazy busy. School, work, cheer and planning a wedding. Plus not to mention all the unexpected little things that happen on a day to day base. But now, I'm graduated married and only working part time, and I have no idea what to do or even worry about!!! At first I thought o I'll give myself a week and things will calm down and I'll be back to my normal full pace at all times self. But it has been over a month and I'm still not there...I keep waiting to wake up and feel like myself again and it's just not happening. I am so happy to be married and so in love with Gavin, I think I just need to find a new goal to motivate myself again and I know once I find it there is no stopping me! :D
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
We are finally married!! and so happy and in love!!!!
The last month of my life has been a roller coaster. Days before our wedding my Grandma was put in the hospital with heart problems, can you say bad timing? But, my Grandma means the world to me and her health is my 1st priority right now. So the Dr scheduled her surgery ( a heart valve replacement) for 2 weeks after the wedding. She was released on Friday night and made it to my wedding on Saturday. I was so happy, it just wouldn't have been the same without her there.
It was also finals week for the summer semester and not that I wasn't stressed enough with wedding and Grandma, but I finished my classes and became a college graduate and a married women in the same week!!
The wedding was everything I could have ever wanted and more. We stunted we danced we played and most of all we were in love (and still are). Gavin is such an amazing person. He has the most gentle and calm personality of anyone I have ever met. I have only heard him raise his voice once in the 6 years I've known him. It was in traffic and he missed his exit 3 times and ended up 30min away from where we needed to be. I think anyone would have freaked a little at this point lol.
So back to my grandma. She had her surgery last Tuesday morning and was released to go home today. I am so happy she is doing so well for her circumstances. She has a long recovery process ahead of her, but she is so independent and driven I don't see her struggling at all. That is as long as people let her rest, and not give her unnecessary things to stress over!
Now, I'm in a bla funk stage of life, and I am not totally sure what I am going to do next. Once everything settles down a little bit more and I focus on myself better I'll figure out my next great adventure!!